I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
