when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
