Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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