oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
