I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
