i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
