I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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