you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
