having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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