booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize