Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
