Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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