omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
