I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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