I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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