Whod you bang
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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