first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dicks are not precious.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
