Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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