I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I smell stomach acid.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
MIDGETS
????
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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