wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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