nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
