Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
