You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
