Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I can text with my tongue
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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