The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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