Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
