nut hugger
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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