yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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