I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
