you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
