I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
