Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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