and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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