If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize