you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
