only if we run a train.
done.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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