So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm at about main and main street
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
