therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
