my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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