He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
