I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
