Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
