You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
