I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize