I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
