This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
