Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
