that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
