You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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