I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
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I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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