I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
