so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
