Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
