I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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