Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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