It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
