I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
