I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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