I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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