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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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