yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
