I just cut my nipple shaving
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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