Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
