he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
