He disabled his match.com account in front of me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
