I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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