Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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