Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations