And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
