its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
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i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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